If they wanted my workplace to be fashionably decorated, they'd call it the fashionplace

This episode of Recovery is brought to you by the Bing "search overload" commercial and the genius at Woot who thought to take a camera to E3 and document all the Woot T-shirts on the show floor: One of them looks like the inside of my head, the other looks like the outside of the rest of me.

So tonight's the night: Facebook vanity URLs for everyone! The digital switchover is upon us. As Tim told us yesterday, about 2.2 million people aren't ready; as you see from the comments on his article, some folks have valid tech reasons for that. Ready or not, you should cruise by YouTube and enjoy the four classic-TV episodes they've put out front for you today.

The laughs you'll get (and why has more not been written about how Sam Raimi's the true inheritor of Alfred Hitchcock's gift for mixing comedy and horror, not to mention all those director cameos?) are a lot healthier than those from the video from The Rubicon Project that's making the rounds. I don't know what the heck Frank Addante was thinking when he made his video tour of corporate HQ, but dude, no. I like the idea of the credit card you spend on other people and whatnot, but generally speaking the visible stress and the politicking and the my-god-will-the-boss-stop-narrating-already and oh, god, the "speed lunching" -- this office has too much character for its own good. (And though Addante notes that the space is a former set for 24, I swear it reminds me of a tour I took of DEN back in the day. And along with the rest of the Net I need never be reminded of DEN again, kthx.)

I'm lucky; my boss not only doesn't seem to believe in an open-floor layout, he's seated 1868 miles away. His boss is 2329 miles away, except when he's traipsing around Eurasia, at which point who cares, it's the moon. But I wonder, looking at this video and thinking about the Googles and first-wave dot-coms the Rubicon environment emulates, whether tech folk miss the point when we try to make office environments too much like the Student Union.

Quit crying, put down the hackysack, and hear me out. (And if you're someone who currently would like to be in any work situation, please forgive my employed-ism. I hope things work out for you soon.) I appreciate that some people really want all that -- dogs in the office and videogame nooks and the ability to buzz the HR department with a paper airplane right from your desk. Shine on you crazy, de-cubicled diamonds.

But there are many coders whose optimal work environment is dark, closed-off, questionably ventilated, and filled with the soothing thrum of speed metal. Many who deal with regulations and standards -- I'm looking at some of you security auditors now -- need maximum quiet and minimal distractions, or they'll spend all day dodging the GAO reports in favor of surfing /b/ and sending each other midget porn. We've all had that co-worker whose desk was apparently made of dirty coffee cups and stale pastries; I will say no more about the need to contain that person. And for walk-and-talkers (people like me, who get up and pace around while on the phone) an open-office layout is an invitation to commit impromptu performance art, and a sure way to cause your co-workers to start stringing tripwires between the cubicles.

So I'm looking at that video and wondering why we've decided that the "cool" tech offices are not just furnished by Ikea, as Addante proudly notes his is, but designed by Romper Room. Are we trying to convince ourselves that we're having fun? Because other than on television, where set designers use traditional office design as shorthand for bad / boring / bureaucratic and funhouse moderne as shorthand for creative / cool / innovative, I don't buy it -- co-workers can be a happy experience, but most offices function better when there's some structure to keep them out of your face when necessary. (And I say that as someone who took a year off to temp, strictly so I could get some perspective on how other people spend their workdays. Nothing worse than a journalist who thinks that the journalism business is normal, trust me.)

So how about it, tech folk? No one's commented over at that Rubicon video, but you can tell me: Where do you do your best work? What office comforts can't you do without? I promise I won't judge you if you tell me that Rock Band and flat-panel monitors displaying Yammer stats are what make your workplace work, but can I get a witness for the beauty of coder caves and doors that close? For knowing that your boss is contained behind an architectural element that blocks grumbling and dirty looks? For occasionally letting the coffee-cup situation get out of hand without getting a lecture from a random co-worker on aesthetics?

Let your geek flag fly and have a good weekend.