Microsoft beats Windows XP users into submission

What shameless exploitation. I know PC sales are slow, with Windows 8 giving no lift. So Microsoft resorts to this? Today, Stephen Rose issues an ultimatum: Windows XP support ends in 365 days. From April 8, 2014, there will be no more patches and updates for you.

How outrageous! Microsoft cuts off XP users thirteen-and-a-half years after releasing the operating system. My leather jacket is older, and the clothier who made it isn't forcing me to buy a new one. Nor does Texas Instruments demand I upgrade from the calculator purchased in college. If users want to run Windows XP forever, Microsoft should let them. Instead, it's compute at their own risks or upgrade.

America is all about freedom and spreading the right to choose across the planet. So why is the company located here, which long had the goal of putting a PC in every home, working against choice? Actually, choice anchors Microsoft marketing. But no longer. First Internet Explorer 6, and now Windows XP. If customers choose to run both products for even a quarter century, shouldn't Microsoft support them?

You have the right to run old, buggy software. You have the right to get more viruses and to be swooped up into the next spam-spewing, identity-stealing phishing botnet. You have the right to run PCs that should be in museums not your kid's bedroom. You don't need no stinking Microsoft telling you when to upgrade.

But noooo, Microsoft has to pull Windows XP's Lifecycle Support plug and lay the operating system to rest. Windows 8 needs fixing. PC sales aren't there. So some sneaky Microsoft marketer decides to kill off PC support, after the company extended it over and over and over again. Surely you were confident that another reprieve would come, like so many before.

Obviously profits matter more than loyal customers like you who bought Windows XP in 2001 -- or 2004 with Service Pack 1 -- and never gave Microsoft another dime. Or you pirated XP and paid nothing. But you're loyal! You could have switched to Linux long ago. It's free, too. But you used Windows XP all these years. Now Microsoft expects you to change?

You want your Start button and menu. You need your ActiveX. You don't want a browser that properly displays all websites, unlike IE6 on XP, because it's thrilling to feel like you're a rogue, a cowboy living in the rustic, untamed Wild West. You chuckle at all the unprompted porn popups. What service! Nudes come to you, you don't have to search for them! And you know your buddies don't have this benefit, because newer Windows versions prevent this kind of activity.

You're comfortable shagging a cup of coffee, while waiting for software to download and install. It's important me-time your Windows 7 and 8 friends never get to enjoy. They're glued to chairs, while you're free to roam. Now Microsoft wants to take that freedom way!

Yes, I'm being sarcastic. You thought otherwise?

In all seriousness, Rose's explanation of Microsoft Lifecycle Support is one the best you'll read anywhere.

If you're using XP today, don't wait another 365 days to upgrade. Do us all a favor and take your botnet PC offline today. Please?

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