Can't we just settle on 'netbook' already?

No matter how inaccurate or stigmatized the term, "netbook" has become the de facto name for those small PCs we see people toting around everywhere. Now could someone please tell that to the companies making them?

This week, mobile processor company VIA introduced a lifestyle site dedicated to the netbook phenomenon called How To Be Mobile, (or "H2BM" if you're filling out a personal ad.) Even here, however, the devices are interchangeably referred to as "Mini-notes, sub-notebooks, and ultraportable laptops," tiptoeing around "netbook."

There's a logical and somewhat depressing reason for this, which I will preface with a story about football. Not "soccer" football, but American football -- the one with the weird pointy ball.

I am from Baltimore, Maryland, formerly the home of a National Football League team called the Baltimore Colts. At 2:00am on a snowy March morning in 1983, the team literally snuck off to a new, and better paying home in Indianapolis, Indiana, where it, and also Betanews' managing editor Scott Fulton III, reside to this day.

In the years shortly before the Baltimore Ravens were formed, there was a temporary replacement team playing in Memorial Stadium. While only a Canadian Football League team, the Baltimore CFL team was actually quite popular for its brief life, and became the only American team in the league to ever win the Grey Cup, the league's equivalent to the Super Bowl.

"Tim, for the love of God!" I can already hear you crying, "What on Earth does this have to do with netbooks not being called netbooks!?"

Well, to capitalize on the nostalgia local fans had for their dearly departed NFL team, the CFL team was named "The Baltimore Colts." However, the National Football League promptly sued the CFL franchise for using the name, and the team went without a name. I have a ticket from one of the games in 1995 that just says "Baltimore CFL Football" where the team name should have gone.

"Netbook" is just like "The Colts" in that it's a trademarked name that could result in legal action if used without license. Belonging to a Canadian company called Psion Teklogix since 2000, the term "Netbook" has led to Psion threatening trademark infringement suits on a number of OEMS across the globe.

This is part of the reason Sony reps practically punched me in the face when I mentioned their "future in netbooks," at CES this year. With the company's Vaio P, Sony made sure that I, as well as everyone else in the world, did not refer to their highly netbookish device by that ill-chosen name.

Dell calls them "Mini Laptops," while Acer goes with Netbooks. HP calls them Mini Notebooks, while MSI just sticks with Netbook. It goes on and on.

In the meantime, I will continue to do as Baltimore CFL fans did. When the announcer would welcome fans to the game, he'd leave a conspicuous pause for the team name, and the crowd would shout "COLTS!" in unison. Maybe I won't be exactly shouting "Netbooks!" every time HP says "Mini Notes" but I'll fill in the blanks when appropriate.

I'm doing this because Intel has filed for a declaratory judgement against Psion Teklogix to loosen its tight grasp of the Netbook trademark. After all, the company hasn't made a netbook product for nearly six years and the term has taken up a life of its own, which Intel believes gives it a generic nature.

However, the same thing happened to Band-aids and Biros, did it not? And those are still legal trademarks after nearly 100 years on both counts. Let's just hope the companies making decent products won't have to pay exorbitant royalties simply because the public has chosen to classify those products in a certain way.

To extend this metaphor even further, it would be unfortunate if Netbooks went the way of the Baltimore CFL Colts. As netbooks continue to gain market traction, nearly every PC company has experimented in releasing one, under whatever name they choose. In only their second season, the Baltimore "..." became the "Baltimore Stallions," they took the highest honors in the Canadian Football League and promptly disbanded, only to be dismissed as an experiment in promoting the league in the States.