What if Apple's day 'you'll never forget' is really a day you'll never remember?

Today's Apple homepage iTunes teaser -- "Tomorrow is just another day. That you'll never forget." -- sent the rumormongers howling and Mac fanatics salivating. And I looked on, groaning: "Oh, please, get a life." I really couldn't care less about Apple's so-called "exciting announcement," which distracted from other big tech news, like Facebook's messaging service or Microsoft's 1 million Kinect sales, and from global stories like the coming vote that could divide Sudan into two countries. Apple's little teaser has geek bloggers and reporters once again doing the hamster dance in the proverbial wheel. Steve Jobs has you trained well, and he's promising some sweet kibbel as reward.

I've been chuckling, wondering what would make me never forget. Some days I won't forget: My daughter's birth; my best friend's death; my 14th birthday (I had appendicitis); Sept. 11, 2001; the D.C. Snipers' first day of killing; and Black Friday weekend 2009 car accident. What could Apple do tomorrow that would make it unforgettable? In marketing, smart companies always deliver more than promised. I can't imagine what Apple could deliver tomorrow that would even meet the implications promised.

It's certainly not the Beatles, which is what the Wall Street Journal claims Apple will announce at 10 a.m. ET tomorrow -- new music Tuesday. If the Journal is right, Beatles songs are coming "soon," which had better be tomorrow for there to be any chance of it being unforgettable. But what's really memorable about that? I agree with Jim Dalrymple, who this evening tweeted: "The Beatles on iTunes would have been huge news in 2005. In 2010, I'm not sure it even deserves a story."

I suppose exclusive Beatles catalog distribution would be somewhat memorable. But it's surely trouble. If Apple cuts an exclusive deal, not 30 seconds will pass before someone cries antitrust foul. I covered Microsoft's U.S. antitrust trial from the late 1990s through settlement and beyond. Nearly all the antitrust academics and lawyers I consulted agreed on one point: Microsoft's exclusive distribution deals for Internet Explorer, which shut out rival Netscape, precipitated the case; no exclusive deals, likely no antitrust prosecution. Apple's commanding music distribution has already drawn the ire of trustbusters. If there is no exclusive distribution agreement, what's so memorable about that? AmazonMP3 store and others could sell the Beatles catalog, too, and probably for lots less.

So what's really big enough to make tomorrow a day "that you'll never forget?" That's a question I ask you to answer in comments. Meanwhile, I've got a shortlist of things that would make me not forget the day anytime soon:

1. Steve Jobs steps down as Apple CEO, which of course hasn't much to do with iTunes. But, sure, I'd remember that day -- when thousands of Mac fanatics and Wall Street analysts and investors simultaneously had cardiac arrest.

2. Apple gives away music for free. Who could forget that day, which would kind of be the antithesis of the "day the music died." It's like Napster's rebirth only better.

3. Apple offers your purchased music streamed from the cloud anytime, anywhere and on anything. It's nowhere as good as free, but still memorable. Apple already knows what you bought from iTunes. Only licensing rights and infrastructure prevent people from streaming stuff they already purchased everywhere.

4. iTunes switches to lossless distribution (without raising music prices). I would remember that day, when digital downloads finally offered fidelity comparable to CDs. Wouldn't you?

5. Apple brings back DRM to all music sold by iTunes. Now there's something that would really make tomorrow a day "that you'll never forget." Better: Apple exclusively offers Beatles catalog, but unlike other music locked down by DRM.

I could go on to 10 things, but I've forsworn top-10 lists (Yes, it's intentional not putting five things in the headline of this commentary; I've sworn off top-5s, too). Already, I expect a few Mac attacks for this post. To the flamers I say: Stuff it. More Betanews readers identify themselves as Linux users than Macheads.