Shorty Awards ceremony on tap for Twitter tonight

The Grammys, the Oscars... the Shorties? February is the month for awards shows, and this evening in New York the Twitter community will reward its own in 26 categories of excellent at the Shorty Awards, to be held in still-sort-of-hip Brooklyn.

The awards were voted on by the Twitter community, and even the finalists (the winners have already been announced) get recognition for garnering love in the months-long nomination process. As one might expect, winners attending the ceremony (whether in person or via video) will give a speech which may be no longer than 140 characters, in the Twitter fashion.

But why stop there? Your writer suggests that the Shorties could teach those other ceremonies a thing or two about keeping the event moving quickly. Scrap the red carpets for a red welcome mat. Drinks for everyone, but no elaborate cocktails -- it fits in a shotglass or no deal. Any musical accompaniment must be derived from those 30-second clips on iTunes.

One does stop short, however, of mandating miniskirts, short sleeves or formal shorts for all attendees. As much as we admire the likes of Twitter Tips (winner, Tech division), Justin McElroy (winner, Videogames), Peggy Olsen (winner, Advertising -- yes, she's a fictional character, so what?), Joe Schmitt (nominee, Humor), Fake Sarah Palin (nominee, Humor), we don't need to see that. (Especially since we have reports that Fake Sarah Palin is actually a dude, leading to difficult wardrobe decisions that would not end well.) And "short" for the delicate electronic equipment composing the Mars Phoenix (winner, Science) sounds downright dangerous. Congratulations to all winners and nominees, but let's not get crazy in Brooklyn tonight.